Definition of stress:
Pressure or tension exerted on a material object, a state of mind or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse circumstances or demand.
Another way to understand stress is when your experience doesn’t align with your expectations.
Stephen Covey talks about dealing with stressful moments in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as the moment between what you experience and what decision you make to respond. When something occurs that affects you, you have a split second to decide how you will respond. Someone says or does something that may upset or anger you, pause to think about why you feel the way you do and ask yourself if the other person understands how you think about it. Use that moment to consider how best to respond in a reasoned way.
• Choose to not allow an experience to affect your emotions
• Learn to recognize expectations you may have but didn’t realize were there
• Consider how you would have responded and pause
• Make a reasoned decision about how to respond
Never respond verbally, in text, nor email while you’re angry
Think about why you expected a different result or outcome
Three areas of focus to improve handling stress;
1. Learning to understand behavior or others to set your expectations
2. Personal health – exercise may help relieve stress
3. Planning & organizing helps set your own expectations
Keeping perspective on events and situations helps
PAUSE = Moment of Decision (MoD)
• The person(s) didn’t do whatever it is just to aggravate you ….. Probably
• Assess the situation, consider priorities, and think about why you’re feeling as you do
• Think ahead for your options and the consequences of each possible reaction
Decide on a response and follow through
Learn how to be fact-based and objective in your interactions
Managing your health – physical and mental
• Sleep 7 to 8 hours daily (the is a critical element)
• Keep caffeine to no more than 3 cups a day and not after 3PM your time
• Do spend time with family and friends and FOCUS on them
• Quiet time, alone every day to think freely about your life …. Even 10 minutes a dauy
• Find a hobby that distracts you from work and stress
Start every week and every day with a basic plan to set your own expectations
Avoid being in full reaction mode, learn how to be proactive in your day
Setting expectations for yourself and others
• Make regular time to plan your week and each day (30 minutes weekly, 10 minutes daily)
• Be realistic with yourself and others about what you can accomplish
• It’s okay to tell someone, even your boss, your schedule is filled (may require re-prioritizing)
• Develop simple techniques and habits Example: list top 5 tasks to complete or progress each week)
Understand and manage your workload within reasonable boundaries
In Summary
• Be sure to include sleep, personal time, family, and planning in your schedule
• Brain dump all the tasks you have to accomplish and use this list for weekly planning
• Use your weekly list of tasks for daily planning
• Practice being mindful of how your feel and think when in the Moment of Decision
• Assume every person wants to do the right thing but there may be a disconnect in understanding
Mindful interactions lead to better collaboration and trust